ultimatums do not work for me

I’d been working on one side project – a website – for several years. I made progress on it, but it never really succeeded. What was I looking for? Modest traffic… almost any traffic at all would do!

I had given a link to the website to a few friends, and I could see that they had accessed it (their feedback was good – they all told me that they liked it). Other than that, though, the site was like a virtual cul-de-sac.

So I gave myself an ultimatum: I will add one last webpage to the site, publish the whole thing as an ebook, make it available on Amazon, and then I’ll quit working on it for good.

What actually happened, after I made my ultimatum? I found myself distracted by numerous other side projects, chores, and fun things to do. It has been 3 years since I gave myself that ultimatum! And I never finished that last challenge.

This behavior seems to be repeating itself. I recently gave myself another, similar ultimatum, about another side project, and it has killed my desire to work on the project at all.

If my intent was to force myself to stop working on an unprofitable or fruitless project, then I’ve succeeded. However, that was not my intent! When I think about, I never really wanted to stop working on my project at all. It was a labor of love, and I enjoyed the work that I did on it. I just wanted it to “succeed” – get more viewers – and I was frustrated about that not happening. The truth is, however, I had never tried anything to get more traffic at all, other than sharing my webpage with a few friends. I had sabotaged myself.

Upon introspecting, I feel that I was afraid of reaching a dead end. If I tried harder to drive traffic to my website, and even that didn’t work, I’d be stuck for real – I would literally have no clue how to proceed. As it was, I could always feel like there was something I hadn’t yet tried… something else I could do to get more traffic… later. Whenever I had the time to get back to it.

I don’t have lots of time these days, but I think putting in a few hours each week to add more content to my old website, and work on driving traffic, is not too much to ask. In the end, even if it never gets much traffic, I will still have enjoyed the process of content creation.

I can’t see the point in giving myself ultimatums, anymore. They are counterproductive!

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